Get Back in the Ring
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
If you’ve been here for a while, you know that I adore C.S. Lewis. This quote of his is one of my favorites, and I often return to it as a reminder that the most beautiful things in life carry with them the potential and the capacity for both extraordinary joy and heartbreaking pain. If we want a beautiful, bold, memorable life, we have to be courageous enough to face the good, the bad, and the ugly.
I also love these words because I too have felt the temptation to lock my own heart up and throw away the key, especially after moments of profound professional or personal disappointment. It hurts to lose. It hurts to be embarrassed or let down. Sometimes it feels like the safest (or the only) way to keep on moving forward is to shut off the achy parts of our hearts and numb the pain.
This week, I had a few deep conversations with friends who are facing this temptation right now. They told me, with their faces stoic and unfeeling…
“I don’t want to date. I have no time for a relationship right now.”
“I’m just going to stay at this job because there’s nothing else I want to do.”
“Why would I push myself to achieve that goal when I just know I’m going to face another roadblock?”
But they don’t fool me because I know those words. I’ve said them before. I’ve been in the place where I’m so dang frustrated and annoyed and even a little angry at God because I feel like my hoping, my praying, and my dreaming keep running me into dead ends. And I’ve been the one who throws my hands in the air and just says, “Enough!! I’m done with this hoping. It hurts too much.”
But it’s at that exact moment that we must double down on our hope.
As Christians, we hear that this life is a constant cycle of death and resurrection. We believe that suffering is redemptive and brings us closer to God. We can trust that the hard things we face are helping us to detach our hearts from lesser things and to rely on God for everything.
So when we have moments of disappointment or achiness, that’s the time we need to run to the Father and pour out our hearts. Instead of shoving our feelings down like a beach ball underwater, we are invited to lay it all down at His feet. It’s only in facing our pain and disappointment that we allow God to heal us, to strengthen us, to bless us.
The only way to keep our hearts soft in this hard world is to entrust them to our good, good Father.
I don’t know what you’re walking through right now, but I bet that there is a place in your life where you might be giving up on your hope. Instead of wrestling with God, you’ve thrown in the towel. Consider this your invitation to get back in the ring and fight to get your heart back. It’s worth it. Because a vulnerable, hoping heart is a heart that is open to incredible, beautiful gifts – beyond anything we could ask for or imagine. And yes, it will get bruised and maybe broken, but in the process God strengthens us and reminds us that He provides everything that we need, in abundance!
I’m in the ring with you. Here’s to breaking our hearts free.
What we’re loving lately:
Old School Watches
- A couple of weeks ago, I started wearing an old-school analog watch again and it has been such a game-changer! It’s really nice to just glance down to check the time rather than pulling out my phone and inevitably getting distracted by other notifications. In a strange way, seeing the hour and minute hands also gives me a different perception of time that I really enjoy – like it’s easier to see how much time is left in the hour or break down time into smaller chunks. Anywho, this is the watch I got and it’s currently on super sale at Madewell!
Praying. Three Hail Marys for Divine Providence
- This is something I’ve been doing recently after daily mass and it’s been so beautiful. Just pausing to pray in gratitude for and hope of divine providence is so good. I highly recommend it!
Taylor Swift’s Folklore: The Long Pond Studio Sessions
- Taylor’s Disney+ documentary is the perfect rainy day activity. It’s beautiful, cozy, and fun. I turned it on with some friends this weekend and it was 12/10. This Taylor Swift cozy playlist works too.
My beloved friend Alison threw the most gorgeous graduation/welcome back party for me this weekend and I was so overwhelmed by her generosity and the generosity of my friends, some of whom traveled here to celebrate! How blessed am I to have such wonderful people in my life?!
- For a special intention
- For a friend who is pregnant!
- For a friend discerning a big decision
If you or a loved one need prayers, just reply to this email or reach out and I’ll include them in next week’s newsletter!
More Like This
One of my toxic traits is that I often overextend myself. Everything always just sounds so FUN! I have long been notorious for "stacking" events; i.e., a happy hour followed by a dinner followed by a birthday party, etc. The reality of living this way, however, became...
Have you listened to our podcast yet? Find it on iTunes, Spotify, Google Podcasts, and anywhere else you listen to podcasts! A full directory can be found here. As we prepare to embark on the beauty and busyness of the holiday season, I wanted to pause to reflect on...
A couple of weeks ago, two of my friends discovered that I had never read John Steinbeck's Of Mice and Men. To remedy that, one of them lent me her book and I dove in. I really enjoyed East of Eden and was excited for another journey through my beloved Northern...
Jane was born in Australia, raised in California, and is overjoyed to now call NYC home. She graduated from UCSB with degrees in Political Science and Communication and spent the past two years working in criminal justice reform. She is currently an MBA student at NYU Stern, focusing on entrepreneurship and strategy.