From the moment I decided to pick up the faith as an adult, I have been fascinated by (and determined to live) God’s Will. Mostly, this has looked like me freaking out that I’m going to mess it all up.
This concept of living God’s Will has been studied by the saints for millennia. St. Ignatius of Loyola developed the spiritual exercises and discernment of spirits to help himself and others determine God's desires for their life. His basic premise is that when we are stuck between two decisions, they’re obviously both “good” — otherwise the choice would be simple. But when you have two good decisions in front of you, he invites us to examine the options and consider how you would feel making each decision. Is there peace and the fruit of the Spirit, or is there anxiety and fear? That can help you make the decision that most glorifies God.
I’ve used this framework often. Maybe you're working in a job or are in a relationship that's causing a lot of anxiety, fear, and insecurity. This can be an invitation to pray through what God might be asking of you. Is it the situation causing this anxiety, or are there other factors you can address to bring about more peace?
For those reading this newsletter, many of us are achievers. That means that not only do we want to be Christians, but we want to be Very Good Christians. And being a Very Good Christian means living God's Will.
For most of my spiritual life, this has been a place of great worry for me. If you recall above… worry and anxiety are not good. I have spent many hours in excruciating prayer before the Eucharist, begging God to just show me what He wants. The number of times I've said, "God, just tell me what you want and I will go do it!!" is probably in the high thousands. Because there's a sense, I think, from the world that we live in and the culture we swim in, that if I make the wrong decision, if I take the wrong job or say no to a date or move to the wrong place, that I will irreparably and unfixably destroy God's Will for my life, and therefore destroy all my chances at happiness. And that sounds like a real bummer.
As you read those words, you probably thought, “But, Jane, do you really think you’re more powerful that God, and even if you are trying your best, you can mess it all up?” The embarrassing answer is that sometimes, yes, I do. 🙈
Following God's Will is hard because we have so many choices. We have more options than really anyone else in history . And so the question becomes: How do we do our “bloody best,” as one of my favorite Irish priests says, to do God's will — not out of fear of missing out, but because we do love Him, and we do trust He has a good plan for our life?
Over the past month, I've been rereading Abandonment to Divine Providence, Trustful Surrender to Divine Providence, and Sister Faustina's Jesus, I Trust in You devotion. All of them speak at length about doing God's will. And the theme within these, as well as in the teachings of St. Ignatius of Loyola, is that God's Will is where we are — where your two feet are. That is where God wants you.
I've been thinking about this a lot because I just started a new project at work in which I'm traveling every week. That means many hours in airports and on planes and in hotels. It also means many hours away from my home in DC, and my friends and my life here.
When I started to look at the next few months and at all of the travel I’ll be doing (not only during the week, but on the weekends too) I began to feel overwhelmed. "God, is this really what you want?" I asked. "I feel like I'm not going to be home, and I don't know if I'm going to survive this."
But when I take a step back and look at the work I'm doing, when I live in the present moment with my team, I feel peace and lightness and joy.
The project I'm on has me in hotels next to churches, so I've been able to go to Mass and Adoration. I'm learning a lot and pushing myself, which is something I really enjoy. And I'm getting to meet people—at work, at our client, at the airports. It’s been fun, an “adventure” as my friend Caroline reframed it to me this weekend.
I may feel differently in a few months, and that might be a sign that it's time for me to do something different. But right now, I feel peace.
And so, instead of wondering if I've made the right choice, or if this is something that's going to be good for me, I'm going to trust that God will take care of me—and that if this is not the right thing for me, He will make that clear too.
Just because we make a decision doesn't mean we can never change our minds. But if we follow the peace, if we stay close to the Lord, and if we trust that He can work in all circumstances, we will be freed from the fear and the anxiety that we can mess it all up.
I love to think about the image of God as a GPS—that just like when you're driving with a GPS, sometimes you make a wrong turn, or you do something that wasn't great. But the GPS very quickly recalculates the route and sets you back on the path. That's how God is. And when we stay close to Him in prayer, we can trust that He will always set us back on the right path, even if we go wandering.
I don't know what decisions are on your mind today, but I do want to encourage you of three things:
You can trust God. He loves you, and He wants you to make decisions that will maximize your happiness and bring you closer to Him. It's not all on you.
Make the best decision you can and then walk forward in faith. God provides where He guides, and you don't have to worry about messing it up.
Live with freedom. The most exhausting and paralyzing thing we can do is constantly rethink the decisions we've made and wonder if they were right. This is the symptom of pride, because it means that we think we know what's best for us and aren't trusting that God, who sees more than we ever could see, is really the one taking care of us.
Please pray for me and know of my prayers for you.
In Christ,
Jane
What I’m loving lately
I posted this above, but in case you missed it:
Please pray for little Lisandro!
My friend’s son was diagnosed with leukemia last week. Please pray for Lisandro, and his parents (Lisandro and MK), as well as his doctors and those around them. If you want to offer support or prayers, you can visit their website here.
Pope Leo XIV Homily at Youth Jubilee
“Dear young people, Jesus is our hope. Aspire to great things, to holiness, wherever you are. Do not settle for less. You will then see the light of the Gospel growing every day, in you and around you.”
It’s giving JP2 vibes. I love.
Vanicream saved my life (skin)
Back in April, after months of skin irritation, a doctor told me I had periorial dermatitis — a skin condition that creates a rash around the mouth, nose and eyes. The only real cure is to stop using all creams and lotions on your face and let the skin barrier heal. As a girly with a seven-step face process (which I learned is what caused this mess), I shrunk down immediately to just two face product: Vanicream lotion and gentle cleanser. It’s been four months and, using just those two drugstore products (plus the mineral sunscreen) my face has never been clearer. The summer is a tough time for skin with all the swimming and sweating and dirt, but if you’re looking for new face wash/moisturizer this is my completely unsponsored recommendation for vanicream! I buy it at CVS.
Prayer intentions
For Laura and Tim who are getting married on Saturday!
For Gab who is having a baby any day now
For a special intention