If you’ve been around, you may recall that I’ve been on a journey to find the right parish home for me in DC. This has involved a whole lot of wrestling with God — and a whole lot of letting go of my own expectations and plans.
But I want to share a beautiful story from yesterday, in case you’re in your own “middle place” when it comes to something — maybe it’s a parish decision, or a rough spot in your job, or hurt / disappointment / loneliness in friendships.
A few months ago, I ran into a woman from our church and told her how much I love when she lectors (for non-Catholics, that’s when you read the scriptures in the first half of the mass). She asked me if I wanted to lector and I responded, offhandedly, “yes, I’d love to!” The wheels were in motion. Almost immediately, she swept me into email chains and registered me for lector training. Despite every possible obstacle (e.g., I travel half the week and had a billion weddings and weekends away this summer), the process kept moving forward. Which is how I found myself in the sacristy yesterday getting fitted for a robe since my first lector day happened to be the Feast of Saints Michael, Gabriel, and Raphael, archangels.
My church is a gigantic Cathedral, and it was slightly terrifying walking out there, but then I saw so many of the faces I see at daily masses and felt so encouraged. I survived (and actually it was really fun), but what really knocked me out was what happened after the mass.
As soon as we completed the procession to the back, Monsignor gave me a huge hug and said, “Marvelous job!” (to be very clear, I did just fine, wouldn’t say “marvelous”). The whole way back to the sacristy, people were stopping me saying, “good job” like I was a seven-year-old who just completed their first piano recital. A few of the women who had encouraged me to lector were waiting for me in the sacristy and gave me the warmest, most joyful hugs.
It was a slightly dramatic way for me to realize that I had found the community and home I had been looking for — a place where I’ve built friendships with people in all seasons and states of life, come to know the priests personally, and experienced doors being blown open for me by God’s grace.
I share this because 1. It was so sweet and cute and encouraging but mostly because 2. It’s been a long road for me to get to this place. I don’t know which roads you’re on, what you’re waiting (or looking) for, or what tricky decisions might be on the table for you right now. I only found myself here because of a pretty intense two year wrestle and struggle with myself, God, and my expectations. It was when I finally threw my hands up and followed the peace that I found myself here.
It’s like my least favorite prayer of the surrender novena goes (because I think it’s the hardest):
And when I must lead you on a path different from the one you see, I will prepare you; I will carry you in my arms; I will let you find yourself, like children who have fallen asleep in their mother’s arms, on the other bank of the river. What troubles you and hurts you immensely are your reason, your thoughts and worry, and your desire at all costs to deal with what afflicts you.
Let’s find ourselves like children in our mothers’ arms, carried to the places where God has good things for us.
Jesus, I surrender myself to you, take care of everything!
In Christ,
Jane
What I’m loving lately
I love these jeans — so comfy and professional enough to wear to work! Had my eyes on them for months and finally pulled the trigger I’m a fan - you can sort of see them above in my brick picture.
Survivor is back!!
My favorite show (and really the only one I watch consistently) is back and it makes me so happy. The second ep is tomorrow so feel free to catch up and enjoy with me! :)
I have been a Giorgio Armani foundation girl for a while, but this weekend my new bff at Sephora recommended I try the skin tint and PEOPLE I cannot express how good it is. Instead of using foundation, bronzer, highlighter etc - I just use this! It’s glowy and perfect and a lot lighter than what I typically use. 12/10 recommend!
Tomorrow is St. Therese day!!
I love her. I hope we are all showered with roses tomorrow!
Sober October
I’ve done this for the past few years and am doing it again starting tomorrow! I love taking a little break from things I enjoy (and that are not necessarily “bad”) to remind myself that I can detach from things and that this detachment is good for me. It also aligns to Fr. Mike’s homily this weekend - we are in a comfort crisis! Are there things in your life you’re relying on too much? Here’s an invitation to join me!
Prayer intentions
For my baby brother whose birthday is tomorrow!! He’s on a big backpacking adventure
For a special intention