Feedback is a gift
"The only thing worse than getting corrected is not getting corrected"
Recently, I read a Substack post from one of my favorite writers, Gretchen Rubin, who shared that the only thing worse than getting corrected is not getting corrected.
Her point is sound: if someone cares enough to correct you, whether at work or in art or in thought, it means 1) they're paying enough attention to give a response and 2) they care enough about you to help you be better. If someone doesn't care about you or your development, they won't give you feedback, because what's the point?
I immediately thought about the ballet classes I took in high school. It felt like from the moment I walked into class until the moment I walked out, our teacher’s eyes were on me: “Jane, stand up straighter.” “Jane, elongate your leg.” “Jane, lift your elbow.” I was so embarrassed the day she came and put a rubber lily pad on my head so that I would stop looking down during barre exercises.
I remember being so frustrated at the time: there were 30 other girls in the room, why couldn’t she just leave me alone? But reflecting on this article shifted my perspective on that experience 15 years later — my ballet teacher was watching, commenting, and correcting because she cared. She believed that I could be better, and she wanted me to be better.
I experience that now in my Solidcore classes — if the coach is standing at my machine, hand on my shoulder, telling me to hold a plank well beyond what I think I’m capable of, it’s because she thinks I can do it. The minute she turns away, I collapse — and she knows this. But, for those extra 20 seconds, she pushed me beyond what I could have done on my own. I hate the focused attention, but I also love it because I leave stronger.
I was chatting with my friend Sloane about this, and she told me how she took this desire for feedback a step further: When she was rowing crew in high school, she would wear neon to be extra visible in the early morning darkness out on the water. Because she was glowing, the coach would obviously make more comments on her form, since she could see her best. Sloane would also go up to the coach after every practice and ask how to be better. Talk about asking for feedback!
I think that’s such a great way to live life — to be unafraid of feedback, knowing that it’s offered to make us stronger, better, and more ourselves. It truly is a gift! To be fair, some feedback and criticism is just plain unhelpful. But I often find that even the most poorly delivered feedback has a kernel of truth or a push for excellence hidden within it.
This mindset is also helpful if you're in a position to provide feedback to others. Since I started working as a manager, I've had plenty of opportunities to offer feedback of both encouragement and growth to my teams and leaders. Sometimes this can feel really uncomfortable, but remembering that my feedback is an act of love and something that I value for myself has helped me approach it with a lot more confidence and courage.
So, where could you benefit from more feedback in your life? Could a little perspective shift help you receive it with more humility, gratitude, and openness? It's something good to think about! A great gift in life is that we always get to learn and grow and try new things, which means the opportunity for feedback is plentiful. And that’s the way we want to live!
Here’s hoping we all get some (good!!) feedback this week.
In Christ,
Jane
What I’m loving lately
After my months-long saga with the Count of Monte Cristo came to an end (sad), I was eager for some quick wins, and these super short and super hilarious books are even better than the hype. I laughed out loud — and have already torn through the first two in a few days. They’re free on Kindle Unlimited!
The World Cup <3
This weekend’s World Cup Final game between Spain and Argentina reminded me why I simply cannot become a die-hard sports fan because I could not take that level of stress every weekend… I was in Spain for their 2010 World Cup win and screamed my lil head off watching this game this weekend! My voice is hoarse today. What an exciting game, wow!!
Benadryl bug bite cream
The bugs are out… and I have 12 mosquito bites on my ankles to show for it (30 min of standing outside of La Bonne Vache will do that to you). It was my annual reminder of how much I love my benadryl itch cream which is the only way I keep myself sane when everything itches. A bathroom cabinet staple.
In the midst of a very busy season at work, this book has been such a good reminder that time spent with God is never wasted — and makes the rest of the day so much better. Fr. Jacques Philippe is the best when I need a little prayer pick me up!
I loved Fr. Mike’s response when people ask him what to pray for him for: “I don’t know.” If you ask me how to pray for me, I’ll give you a detailed (and prioritized) list — but I loved this reflection that honestly, we don’t really know what is best for us. So maybe my prioritized list of wants is not the best thing for me… a good thing to take to prayer!
Festina lente
My work life is a bit intense at the moment, and I’m trying to find ways to slow down and work better… I loved this episode and especially the concept of “festina lente” - make haste, slowly. My intention for this week is to slow down, so I’ll report back.
Prayer intentions
For a special intention