Giving up
The spiritual practice that has defined my 2026
This weekend, I got coffee with a friend. As we sat at the table, she asked me, “I want to know how you seem to avoid despair. You seem very content. What do you do to feel that way?”
I took it as a major compliment that she felt that way about me, and quickly assured her that I do indeed have my fair share of discouraged moments. But then I shared my philosophy for 2026, which I don’t think I’ve shared yet in this newsletter:
It is that I have given up.
When I say I’ve given up, I don’t mean it in a defeatist, “I give up on everything and will wallow in my bed and let life happen to me” kind of way. In reality, it’s been much more “active” than that.
I was inspired by a talk I heard Fr. Pine give at the end of 2025, in which he said something along the lines of, “Just give up. Allow the Lord to take care of you, and He will.” And this has been my philosophy for the year. Shockingly, it is actually working quite well.
I’ve found that the root of most of my anxiety, frustration, and angst is worrying that I’m doing the wrong things, going to the wrong places, spending time with the wrong people, or focusing on the wrong work.
This philosophy of “giving up” has allowed me to let go of all of that, to worry less about what I have to do for myself and to focus on what God is doing in me each day, to be faithful to what’s right in front of me and to do it as well as I can. If something sounds fun, I do it. If something is difficult, I ask the Lord for the grace to approach it well. When I experience a suffering or a sadness, I offer it to Him and ask Him to use it.
Most of all, I try to accept the circumstances of my life, change the things that I can, and release the things that I simply don’t have control over (which, spoiler alert, are most things).
I do think there are, obviously, situations in which we need to engage, fight against injustice, and put things right. But I have also found that, over the years, the things that typically make me feel discouraged, sad, or frustrated are often things that are not in my control. When I look back on them, days, weeks, months, or years later, I’m able to see clearly that God was doing something important in those very moments. Because I continue to gather that evidence year after year, week after week, I’ve come to realize that God typically knows what He’s doing (read: always).
Therefore, I don’t actually have to fight so hard to be in the driver’s seat of my life.
When I shared this with my friend, I saw a new sense of freedom in her face and her eyes.
And that’s the freedom God wants for us.
He doesn’t want us to feel like we have to grasp for everything in our lives. I don’t think He wants us to feel like we have to be in charge or monitor everything all the time. I think He wants us to live like little children: to be responsible and good stewards of our gifts, sure, but more than anything, to be at peace, and to allow Him to work through our lives the way that He wants to.
It reminds me of a favorite paragraph from “Into your Hands, Father”:
I couldn’t say it better myself.
So maybe I invite you to give up.
What are the things that continuously come to mind and cause you anxiety, frustration, worry, or fear? That’s probably a good place to start.
Then, as you walk through the week and things begin to bother you, hurt you, or scare you, I encourage you to continue giving those things to Him, again and again.
In the words of Henri Nouwen, “God dwells only where man steps back to give Him room.”
In giving up, we give God the space to move so that He can provide, abundantly, lovingly, creatively, all in His time.
And He always does.
In Christ,
Jane
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Azelaic Acid
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I loved this
This was great.
Prayer intentions
For a few special intentions