Last week I was catching up with a mentor and she gave me incredible advice that I am here to share. We were chatting about a challenge I faced at work a few weeks ago, and she asked how I was doing.
“Honestly, the whole thing was a hit to my confidence,” I admitted.
“That makes sense,” she responded, “It happens, and it would have shaken up anyone. But don’t unpack a bag and live there! Get back to Jane.”
The image of unpacking a bag and making a home in a place where I’ve been hurt or disappointed was so vivid to me. I know well the temptation to unpack a situation over and over again, re-experiencing the pain every time I catch up with a friend or I’m looking for affirmation or encouragement. I will relive a situation so many times that when someone asks how I’m doing, it takes no time to dive right back into the well-worn grooves of the story, knowing that I’ll receive pats on the shoulder and plenty of “not your faults!" as I go. But is that really where I want to live? Is that what I want my life to be, a retelling of hurts and disappointments? Or, like my mentor encouraged, is it time to move on?
So that night in prayer, I symbolically packed the suitcase of that situation up and let it float away down a proverbial river.
The next morning, I woke up lighter than I have felt in ages. In celebration of my new freedom, I decided to treat myself to a little chai latte on my walk to work. Two of my friends happened to be walking past, and they took a photo because, according to them, “you looked so joyful!”
We can’t always pack up a situation and send it down the river, but I do think I can do it far more often (and more quickly) than I do now. Even if reminders of tough situations return, I do think there’s a lot of power in recognizing that what happens to us doesn’t get to define us. As my spiritual director recently reminded me, “Life is hard and just because hard things are happening to us doesn’t mean you’re doing things wrong. God uses everything to help us grow.”
I don’t know what bags you might be unpacking right now, or in which places you might be experiencing new fears or uncertainty — but my encouragement to you is the same as my mentor’s to me: Don’t unpack a bag! It’s time to get back to who you are.
In Christ,
Jane
What I’m loving lately
So much to celebrate
Since we last spoke, my friend Amanda gave birth to tiny perfect baby Cameron, my friend’s wife won Miss USA, and my friends Monique and Marchel celebrated their engagement. I’m just so grateful for so much to celebrate!! God is making big moves.
Trader Joe’s, Sponsor Me!?
Two Trader Joe’s recommendations in a row!! I’m obsessed with the cold foam cream, I use it on top of my iced coffee in the morning it’s tres magnifique!
A celebration of comedy
There is a small crew of people in DC who are putting together these clean comedy stand-up nights, and I went with a handful of friends this weekend — it was hysterical. I loveeee stand-up and have been to many open mics, and I don’t remember the last time that I saw a lineup as solid as this one. It also made me so happy and proud of everyone who got up there and shared themselves so bravely! I can’t wait for the next one.
Why is this happening
Mini rant incoming: I do not know WHAT is going on but I feel like I hear the Lord’s name in vain so much more frequently now than I ever have before. When it happens at work, I usually respond to “Jesus Christ” with “is Lord and Savior” and my colleagues wisen up pretty quickly (lol), but my Solidcore coach used it over and over last night, and I am just losing it. Please, make it stop!!
The Pulley By George Herbert
This poem really touched me, and I’ve gone back to it a few times over the past few weeks since first hearing it. It reminds me of one of my favorite Psalms, 116:7: “Return, my soul, to your rest; the LORD has been very good to you.”
Prayer intentions
For baby Cameron!
For Tyler and Justus in this big transition
For a special intention