Quest bars and mud pies
Why counterfeits never satisfy
For about seven years in my late teens and early twenties, I had a bit of an issue with food — and by issue, I mean I did not eat it. There were many reasons for this, and the issue was not helped by living in a sorority house with 60 other women who were also counting out individual chocolate chips in the snack kitchen for dessert, or from competing in pageants, which required me to be on stage in a bikini and heels at least twice a year. But whatever the reasons, I did not have a good relationship with food.
There were many unhinged things I did during this period of my life, but one of the most chaotic was my obsession with Quest bars. If you've never had a Quest bar —lucky you! They’re chemical-laden protein bars designed to mimic dessert flavors like cookie dough or Oreos. At the height of my troubles, I would cut the cookie dough ones into tiny pieces, microwave them so the chocolate-substitute chunks melted, and eat them as if they were warm cookies. Sometimes, I spent the whole day looking forward to that little protein bar “treat.” It was a dark time.
Last week, while leaving a client meeting, I was starving and ran into a café to grab an airplane snack. The only peanut- and gluten-free option? Quest bars. I grabbed one, took a bite, and promptly threw it away. I couldn’t believe this was something I once loved so much, something I used to buy by the dozen and look forward to all day. Now, as a woman who greatly enjoys a real chocolate chip cookie, I couldn’t believe that I had EVER thought these tasted good — or even edible. And as someone who now — praise God — has a much healthier relationship with food through truly miraculous healing, therapy, and grace, I was stunned that I’d ever chosen them so willingly.
So what’s the point of this story? I think there are many places in our lives where we have a “Quest bar,” something that is not actually the thing we want, but a second-rate alternative. Something that makes us feel like maybe we’re getting a taste of what we’re looking for, even though we know very clearly it is not the same. It reminds me of one of my favorite C.S. Lewis quotes:
“It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”
We reach for counterfeits because we’re afraid to trust that the real thing will come. I knew even back then that a Quest bar wasn’t a cookie — I’d often eat one, two, or three of them before finally breaking down and eating the cookie I really wanted. All that effort, when the quickest path to peace was simply allowing myself the real thing.
Tim Keller writes about this in Counterfeit Gods: we chase money, sex, power, attention, influence — thinking they’ll make us happy. But they never do.
So maybe this week, we can pause and ask: what are the “Quest bars” in our own lives? The things we cling to out of fear that God won’t provide the real thing. I know there are still places where I do this — substitutes I hope will fill me in ways only God truly can.
How can we open our hands, release the counterfeits, and let God fill us with what we truly need and desire?
Please pray for me, and know of my prayers for you.
In Christ,
Jane
What I’m loving lately
Resilience
I’ve been thinking a lot about resilience lately, and loved this quote from Arthur Brooks:
"People talk about avoiding risk and pain as opposed to managing it. That's one of the great lies proliferating among those under 35: that if you're anxious and sad, something is broken, and you need to fix it. It's about courage, not recklessness, and doing hard things with the hope they'll pay off, but knowing that if they don't, you'll still be OK.”
I read this last week and keep thinking about it. Experiencing anxiety and fear and sadness — that’s a result of living a life where you’re pushing yourself, in new situations, saying yes to things that are kind of scary and a risk! It’s good for us!
Paddington 2
I will proudly share that the final scene of this movie had me weeping on a plane. I think it’s the most positively rated movie (maybe ever?) and after watching it I can see why. 10/10 !
Stay here, summer!!
It’s cooling off in DC (it was 70 yesterday!) and I’m not ready for the summer to end. The fact that it’s getting dark again at 8pm… but that’s just the thing — seasons change!! I’ve shared this before, but there’s something truly spiritual to me about the seasons. Just like in life, there are seasons of birth and death, warmth and cold, light and dark. And I love thinking about how six months ago we were freezing and now we’re sweating and the cycle will continue. It’s a place of frequent prayer + reflection for me!
The Studio
I don’t watch TV often (attention span very low) BUT I devoured The Studio this weekend. It’s a hilarious show on Apple TV+ about a man running a movie studio. I cannot completely vouch for it (one steamy scene and many, many swear words), but I did laugh out loud multiple times so if you’re looking for a funny show to binge, I enjoyed it.
Prayer intentions
For Maggie and Thomas who got married last weekend!
For ML who just made the big move to NYC!
For two wonderful friends who are pregnant
For a friend’s husband looking for a job
For a special intention