Sunshine and stallions
Surrendering our lizards this Lent
We had a gorgeous, sunny weekend in DC, and the city absolutely came alive. 65 degrees might not sound like much to my California friends, but in a city that has been wallowing anywhere from 14 to 30 for months, the experience of 65 was ecstasy!!
Months of puffy coats and snow boots gave way to short jackets, skirts and sneakers. On Saturday afternoon, my friends and I sat on a bench in direct sunlight getting what I hope was a mild sunburn, as we watched the people of Georgetown wander around the waterfront. A jazz band played in Dupont Circle and people looked so dang happy! There’s nothing like the hope of springtime after a few cold and dark months. The sunshine brings us out of our ourselves, our minds, and back into the world.
I found this reflection particularly helpful as we entered the second week of Lent. Last week, I encountered a situation that revealed an ugly place in my heart. At first, I was shocked at myself, which gave way to shame and embarrassment. I want to be a woman of virtue!! Where is this coming from?!
Thankfully, I was attending a recollection on Saturday morning, and I brought it all to confession. I told the priest how embarrassed I was, and he said, “Well that’s the problem right there — we should never be surprised by our failures!”
Lent is the time that we strip away the masks and the numbing and come face to face with the little attachments, hurts, and beliefs that we have been holding and haven’t dealt with. It’s like starting a new skincare routine: the first few weeks, your skin purges all the gross stuff, and you are left with a face full of pimples. I (and maybe you) would like to skip the pimple step and go right to the glory of a clear, radiant face. (Sorry for the gross analogy, but I think it’s apt).
God loves us too much leave the gunk in our hearts, and as we enter into the desert with Him, we have to be willing to allow Him to clear us out of our blemishes.
One of my favorite books of all time is C.S. Lewis’ The Great Divorce. It’s phenomenal. My brother was reading it while we were in Japan, which meant that we got to talk about one of my favorite scenes in the book — maybe in all of literature.
In this scene, a man (ghost) has a little lizard on his shoulder — the lizard represents a sin that the man cannot let go of. He hates the lizard, and knows how much the lizard is hurting him, but he also cannot fathom losing the lizard, living without it. And so, he clings to the lizard. That is, until an “angel” asks the man for permission to kill it and free him. They go back and forth, and finally the man (in agony) gives him permission to destroy the lizard. The moment is excruciating, but in the place of the destroyed lizard springs up a mighty stallion. The man leaps onto the steed, and rides towards heaven — courageous, hopeful, and free.
The little “ugly” parts of our hearts that pop up in this desert time have the capacity to transform from lizards to stallions, if we surrender them to God. A friend told me once that the enemy’s greatest attacks come at the places God most wants to use for His glory — and it only makes sense that the enemy would attack those places and make us doubt ourselves and God’s goodness. When we allow God to heal us, He can do so much more in that place than if we never faced that struggle or sorrow.
Lent is an invitation for God to shine the rays of His glorious, warm, sanctifying sunlight on us. It’s an invitation to not be blinded by our own weakness and smallness, but instead to allow Him to sanctify us — and to turn those little lizards into glorious steeds.
What an adventure this Lent will be!
In Christ,
Jane
What I’m loving lately
This week, I devoured the book, Project Hail Mary. Run, don’t walk, to get a copy! I’m often reminded that the content we consume impacts the way we feel about ourselves, others, and the world. This book made me feel hopeful, generous, and alive, which I think is a pretty good outcome! I couldn’t put it down.
Also, the movie comes out this month and I heard that the billboards all over LA say “Believe in the Hail Mary” which I stand behind in more ways than one ;)
What a gift this life is
On Friday night, I attended an event at the Australian Embassy and it was just so fun and so DC!! It reminded me how much I love living in a place where I get to meet so many cool people. I met a priest who is part of the Vatican diplomatic force, working to represent the interests of the Pope in countries around the world. As I stood there in this Embassy, chatting with this man who has lived all over the world and spent time with at least three popes, I thought to myself how insane it is that I am here and that I live this life. I had another beautiful moment this week that I might share one day, but I have just felt very surrounded by reminders of God’s Providence and omnipotence this week!
Poco a Poco Lenten series on The Prodigal Son
This has been an incredible series so far. I loved that Fr. Mike’s homily this week also focused on The Prodigal Son! It’s a parable I could sit with forever.
That’ll preach
“I strongly suspect that if we saw all the difference even the tiniest of our prayers to God make, and all the people those little prayers were destined to affect, and all the consequences of those effects down through the centuries, we would be so paralyzed with awe at the power of prayer that we would be unable to get up off our knees for the rest of our lives.” - Peter Kreeft
Prayer intentions
For a few special intentions