In my very first job out of college, I had a startling experience: I felt like I cared so much (too much?) about almost everything. I had big ideas and wanted to get really creative, constantly trying to get my teams to try crazy new things — even if it meant more work or greater risk. It was not very well received. I don’t think people didn’t care, but for some reason I cared a LOT.
I vividly remember being in this season of my life, and telling myself each morning, “Jane, you just have to care less today,” just to protect myself from discouragement.
I am now in pretty much the opposite situation, in a job and at a company where everyone cares a whole heck of a lot about a whole heck of a lot. My intensity is dwarfed by the personalities around me. And sometimes, if I’m not careful, I notice myself swinging the other direction: when I feel overwhelmed or frustrated or annoyed, I can find myself saying to myself, “It’s fine, I don’t care.”
Which is blatantly untrue. Because I do care, a lot. I care about people and about doing things well and about making a positive, good impact. And this past week, every time I found myself grumbling under my breath, “It’s fine, I don’t care,” I made myself stop, stand up straighter and say to myself, “That’s not true — I do care. I care a lot. And that’s a good thing!”
When things get challenging or feel insurmountable, the temptation to throw up my hands and pretend I don’t care (especially when I’m tired!) can be powerful. But God created me (and you) to care about the things He put in front of us. Most of the time, if I’m overwhelmed, it’s because I’m falling into the false belief that it all depends on me (which it does not). So instead, I’ll let myself care about the things that matter to me, and in the moments it feels overwhelming, I can surrender it up to God, Who loves me and knows me and is always, always providing.
I hope that you have a wonderful week, and find joy in caring about the good and challenging and noble work that God has put on your plate!
In Christ,
Jane
A weekend in NOLA
I’ve spent the past six months helping plan our company retreat, which took place this weekend in New Orleans. It turned out so well, and I had the best time catching up with friends and making new ones — I also met a cutie pie alligator named Digits and almost brought him home!! Toy Alligators will be all the rage one day, I have a feeling.
Why we like to worry
Y’all know I love this podcast, and this episode especially was a banger. Highly recommend!
Taylor Swift cares
Taylor Swift gave a commencement address at NYU (the year before I graduated, sad) in which I think she addressed “caring” beautifully, and I think about this a lot whenever I’m struggling with the whole caring / not caring conundrum:
Integrity
I’ve been thinking and praying a lot about living integrity in every moment — how to do my best for God and others even when no one is watching. Also ties to the reflection on caring above! Loved this:
Au revoir!
I am off to Paris (!!!!), Austria, and Germany next week so I will be taking a week away from the newsletter (first break in a year?) Please take the time you would have spent reading the newsletter preparing yourself for the onslaught of Paris / Europe content the week following :)
Prayer intentions
Bryn who just moved to SF!
For a special intention