Every once in a while, I come face-to-face with my humanity and all of the ways in which I am so far from being holy. I get frustrated. I’m impatient. I say too much. I frequently trip over my own pride.
And when I’m feeling overwhelmed and tired (as I was last week), I start to pick myself apart for all the things I’m not doing well enough — which leads to making unrealistic bargains and plans and goals for myself that inevitably leave me feeling even more discouraged. “This week, I’ll pray my daily Rosary and stop by a church and make time for prayer and stop complaining.” (All good things).
On Saturday morning, during my airplane mode time (more on this below), I was praying about this, and I felt the Lord say something to me that stopped me in my tracks:
What if you simply make space for My love?
Oof. That’ll preach.
What if, instead of making yet another checklist or unreasonable goal or beating myself up for not doing enough, I focused instead on allowing God to love me, on receiving more of His love.
The wild thing is, when I make space for His love, I am so much better able to live with virtue. I am more patient, generous, and kind. I am drawn deeper into prayer. I become more thoughtful. Not because I’ve willed myself into becoming a better person, but because I’ve allowed God to work in me, and to allow His love for me to flow outward.
It reminds me of an analogy about a garden I’ve heard Fr. Pine share. If we spend all of our time focusing on and pulling out the weeds, we’ll be left with an empty patch of dirt. But instead, if we nurture the beautiful flowers and fruits that are there, we’ll be left with an overflowing garden that will eventually crowd out the weeds we were so worried about.
That doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be praying my Rosary, or being thoughtful about what I do and say. It doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try to grow in virtue or take responsibility when I fall short. But I don’t think God is beating me up in the way I sometimes beat myself up. He’s a good Father, and He wants me to be better. BUT He is not asking me to do that in my own strength and willpower.
Especially in seasons when I’m tired and a bit overwhelmed, He might just be asking me to make more room for Him.
So my question for you: As we speed up towards the end of the year, how can you allow God to love you a little more?
Maybe it’s adding a few minutes of silence or pausing before you pick up your phone when you’re bored. Maybe it’s trying to get to Mass one more time each week or offering up a prayer for someone you’re struggling to love.
Whatever we give Him, we receive a hundredfold.
In Christ,
Jane
What I’m loving lately
St. Jude miracles
Sometimes I’m like “God, are you listening?” but then major miracles occur and I am simply overwhelmed by how much God is really moving. I gave St. Jude six intentions this year (lol) and received wonderful news about one of the biggest ones yesterday morning. I also had such a good conversation with one of the guests of our Monday morning breakfast yesterday about the importance of celebrating little miracles. I brought him a Miraculous Medal from my time in Paris, and he told me that this week he was talking to a friend who was having a hard time, and he invited her to touch the medal, telling her “it’s blessed.” It made my day.
Airplane mode
I am on a sprint at work right now, which means that from 7 a.m. to midnight every day, my phone is blowing up with approximately 40 urgent texts per hour. Feeling a bit over-pinged from the week, I decided to go on airplane mode on Friday before bed. Then I woke up on Saturday and enjoyed almost two hours of journaling and prayer, went to Solidcore, Trader Joe’s, took a nice long shower, and went to noon Mass before turning my phone off airplane mode. It was idyllic. I know God is always speaking, but in the constant onslaught of inputs, it has been very hard for me to make the space this week. Airplane mode is a gift! And one I might need to employ a bit more over the next few weeks.
Sense and Sensibility
This book is a joy. I love Jane Austen. Excited to finish it so I can go see the movie!
Halloween
This might have been the first year I actually got to hand out candy at a house, and it was so, so fun! We saw many Spidermen and Scream masks.
Gnocchi sausage broccoli
This is such a good meal and one I made for myself this weekend. I love my little air fryer, and this is simply the yummiest fall meal! I am obsessed with this Substack account and her meal plans!
Pope Leo’s November Intention
Every month we are invited to pray for the Pope’s intentions. Here’s his intention for November:
For the proper use of wealth — Praying that we do not succumb to the temptation of selfishness, and instead put wealth at the service of the common good and solidarity with those who have less.
Prayer intentions
For my Australian friends and their 54-day novena intentions
For three friends going through difficult health diagnoses