A year ago or so, my friend Erica and I had a conversation in which we committed to one another that we would no longer delay bad news. I don’t even remember the context, but for some reason we were both in situations where we had disappointing news we needed to share with someone and were both putting it off. But the reality is, delaying bad news just makes it worse. If you need to cancel something, aren’t able to make or keep a commitment, or simply don’t want to do something, just do it!! The more we put it off, the worse it gets.
And this got me thinking: the reason we often hold off on bad news or taking action isn’t often because we’re afraid of what the other person might think or how they might react — it’s because we’re too scared of making the wrong decision. The fear of uncertainty can be crippling, and we (read: I) can spend so much time discerning and debating and trying to convince ourselves that we do or do not want to do something that we exhaust ourselves in the process.
Something I’ve been working on recently is the magic of maybe. I can put so much pressure on myself to make a perfect decision that I find myself revisiting things over and over again (even after making a decision) to turn them over and determine the best possible outcome. This is, of course, exhausting. So my new strategy is as follows:
Make a decision to the best of my ability
Communicate said decision to relevant parties
Move on
If later I start to wonder “What if that was a huge mistake and I should have done X instead of Y?” I tell myself:
“Maybe! Maybe I did make a huge colossal gigantic mistake. Maybe it will have repercussions I could never imagine. Maybe I was too hasty or not thoughtful enough. Maybe there was a data point I could have located if I prayed about it or researched it just a little more. Maybe!”
And then, I give it to God, and I ask Him to take care of everything. He can redirect me (and has many times) if that’s His plan. Or I could forget about the momentary stir and never think about the decision again, moving forward in peace.
We make so many decisions that it’s impossible to know if we always make the right ones. All we can do is our best, and trust that God works everything for our good. I loved this article I read a few weeks ago — and especially how the author called out the lie of “God has a perfect plan for my life, and it’s all on me to figure it out.” It’s not all on us!! God can (and does) work with us. We are called to be faithful, generous, open, and prudent. God is big enough to bring us back when we go wandering off in a direction that isn’t for our best. And that is a great joy, and a freedom!
As Jesus says, let your yes mean yes and your no mean no (Matthew 5:37). And that means we are invited to make our best decisions, the best we can. If you’re in the midst of turning a decision over in your mind — you probably already know what to do. Trust yourself, make the decision, and give it to God! He makes everything perfect in its time.
In Christ,
Jane
What I’m loving lately
I know it’s still a few weeks away, but I do want to highly recommend these daily reflections that I read last year: Come Lord Jesus, Meditations on the Art of Waiting by Mother Mary Francis. It truly made for a spectacular Advent season and preparation for Christmas! I think I’ll read it again. It’s out of print (here’s a link I found to still get it!) so I’m sharing now so you have plenty of time to order :)
Porchfest
After ~6 years of living in DC, I finally made it up to Porchfest this weekend! A joy to run around Adams Morgan and celebrate live music — there were about 20 different stages, set up on different porches. I love this city.
A Magnificat reflection from last month I can’t stop thinking about
I think about this meditation from October 14 probably once per day. Jesus had so much patience for the weakness of humanity, and radiated love. An incredible invitation, especially when I find myself feeling like there’s not nearly enough time in the day to slow down, receive, and love the people in front of me. The idea of our gracious thoughts and kind words being the “image of the Savior in your soul.” Wow.
The only reason I’m okay with Christmas showing up extra early this year
Prayer intentions
For a special intention
For my brother Jack and his big test on Friday!