The happiness ladder
Plus word of the year worksheets!!
Hello friends!! Happy New Year. My first week back after the holidays was truly a wild one, which found me in four states in as many days, bopping around to help our client run some really exciting trainings! It was amazing to see so much hard work come to life. I was also able to sneak away to see friends in Austin and Boston, which was an absolute joy.
While at a dinner last week, I learned about the Cantril Ladder: a one-to-ten scale for rating how happy you are today, and how happy you hope to be in five years. At first, I was quite excited because I thought it was a quiz (I loveee a personality quiz), but you actually just place yourself on the ladder:
So after an especially exhausting day, as I was falling asleep, I started wondering, Where am I on this scale today? And almost immediately, the answer came to me: I’m a solid nine.
That answer surprised me (maybe you?), because I probably wouldn’t guess I’m a nine based on how much I complain or get frustrated. But it’s true! I have a very good life. Sure, there are things I wish were different, and moments when I want to throw my hands up, but overall, I’m happy. I’m healthy. I have a great family, great friends, and a job that challenges me in meaningful ways. Jesus loves me! When I really stop and look at it, a nine shouldn’t be that surprising.
Which brought me to the real question: if my life is a nine, why am I not living like it?
I’ve had times where I’ve felt much lower on the scale. There have been seasons of grief and heartbreak and disappointment, and if you’re in those right now, I am sorry — those are very hard. For me, moving out of those seasons usually came through a mix of making concrete changes and allowing time for healing. Here are some of my thoughts for if you’re in a milder funk.
But a nine feels different. I’m not trying to climb out of a hole. I’m trying to learn how to receive God’s goodness and respond to it, to inch up a little closer to that 10.
A few things came to mind as I strive to “live the nine”:
Quit the complaining: Complaining makes the hard things harder. It pulls me down and keeps me circling in frustration, rarely lifting me out of it. Purge it, then let it go. (Also, no one wants to listen to a chronic complainer.)
Do more of the good: Looking around, there are a handful of things in my life that bring disproportionate joy. I really think the 80/20 rule applies here (20% of what we do brings 80% of the joy). So, can I do more of those things?
Wonder. This is my word of the year, and already my list of wonder on my phone has been amazing! At the end of every day, I write down the thing that inspired wonder in me that day. It’s the best.
Run toward the challenges: My happiness isn’t at a nine because everything is easy or perfect. It’s because I’m facing challenges with hope instead of fear. Work is hard, travel is exhausting, and being away from my community all week is tough. But using my brain, stretching myself, and building strong relationships in the midst of a little chaos is (I hope and pray!!) making me better and helping me trust God more in the process.
I’m grateful for where I am on the happiness scale, because I want to live from the truth of John 10:10:
“A thief comes only to steal and slaughter and destroy; I came so that they might have life and have it more abundantly.”
Jesus came so we could have life to the full — not someday, or after the next thing, but here and now. We might not always feel happy, but we are promised an abundant life. I was considering whether or not to share this reflection today, until the communion antiphon was prayed at Mass this morning and it was — you guessed it — John 10:10. Message received, email in your inbox!
So where are you on the scale? Is there anything you could add or take away to nudge yourself up a bit? How could gratitude and awareness of God’s goodness shape how you’re living right now?
I’m in it with you 🤍
In Christ,
Jane
What I’m loving lately
Word of the Year Party Worksheets
My beloved friend Mary hosted the BEST word of the year party this weekend, and she made thoughtful worksheets to think through our words of the year, and start 2026 with intention. In her generosity, she offered to share them with you!! I hope they are as encouraging and enlightening to you as they were to me!
Marcelo Hernandez stand-up special is 12/10
I loved this special SO much. It’s hysterical and probably the best stand-up special I’ve seen in a few years. And it’s clean! I’ve watched it twice already.
Persuasion
I finished Jane Austen’s Persuasion this week, but not before laughing out loud AND shedding a few tears in an airport terminal. It was so poignant and funny and true. I think this might be my year of “classic books I probably should read” BUT I’m doing it in an inspired way. Next up is Agatha Christie’s Murder on the Orient Express.
I love Pope Leo’s intention for January:
Fr. Mike explains why I love adoration
In one of his shortest homilies, maybe ever, Fr. Mike succinctly and perfectly explains why I love adoration and try to get there as much as I can.
Prayer intentions
For peace
For a special intention